About 5 years ago I was talking with my nephew and said that I could not marry. He was genuinely shocked. He did not realize that laws prohibited same-sex marriage. It made no sense to him. I believe his reaction reflects the predominant view of his generation. They ask the same question he did, "Why? That makes no sense."
As marked by the increasing number of states voting in favor of gay marriage, lawmakers are finally realizing it makes no sense.
New York was interesting in that a Republican dominated legislature voted in favor of marriage equality. They made sense in terms of their principals as they explained why. Supposedly deep rooted conservative Republican values drive toward less government intervention in our lives - less regulation. I also respect their helping religious groups feel less threatened by offering protection from being forced to conduct gay marriages. In reality, that amendment was probably not needed but it helped legislators get beyond the religious issue.
We need to watch. It's no secret that the Republican party has been held in a choke hold by evangelical Christians. They may share fiscal conservatism but the approach on social issues is a bit odd.
Christian conservatives have latched onto Gay rights and Women's rights. Their objective is to eliminate or highly regulate the rights of both gays and women. They want to eliminate abortions but in the process, work to de-fund the best program in the world for eliminating unplanned pregnancies - Planned Parenthood. "Why? That makes no sense."
If it's all about ensuring that Christian values are part of our government, that's not constitutional. And then I would ask why other Christian values are not part of the agenda. What about feeding the hungry? What about healing the sick? Conservative Republicans are working to eliminate funding for widespread programs to serve these needs. Is that a Christian value? I think not.
If, across the board, the conservative position is that the government not intervene in peoples lives, I can respect that position. I may not agree, but it makes sense. But what they do has to be consistent.
I have a very difficult time with the idea of mixing religious values and views with government. Despite how the Tea Party wants to re-write history, that's not how this country was founded nor intended to be. We need a big dose of simple common sense, an awareness of common good, and an ability to walk a mile in someone else's shoes.
Wednesday, June 29, 2011
Saturday, June 18, 2011
Spirituality
I am a deeply spiritual person. Perhaps an old soul trapped in this new body without the right words to express what I believe.
Truth is all around us. But often we are trapped into some sort of tunnel vision - unable to see - or unwilling to see. We hear but cannot hear. We see but cannot see.
Words - thoughts - prayers - are powerful things. What we speak - what we think - what we dwell upon have great power. And we have been told of such power. "God said, 'Let there be light', and there was light." There is a lesson there that we miss so very often. What we say - what we think - what we dwell upon - has a consequence. IT IS. It becomes.
We do not choose our words carefully. We say things we do not mean. We dwell on things we do not really want to become. Then we wonder why they actually do "become".
They become because we speak them. They become because we think about them. They become because we dwell on them. We underestimate our power to create the world we really want.
We need to speak what we really want. We need to think about what we really want. We need to dwell on what we desire.
This is the power of "God". This is the universal truth. This IS.
Monday, June 6, 2011
the Little Thorny Plant that Became...
Last Friday, returned to me, was a framed calligraphy of a poem I wrote nearly 25 years ago. It was a gift from a young woman whose name is sadly forgotten but whose story is not.
I was leaving as Director of the Volunteer program under which the Exchange Club Parent/Child Center ran. The Parent/Child Center matched trained volunteers with parents, usually single mothers, who were identified as "at risk" of child abuse or neglect. The volunteers became mentors and advocates, aiding these young parents in working through the system and working their way past the issues causing such risk. It was an amazing program. In the short time I was involved there were great stresses but there were also great joys. This young woman and her mentor were great inspirations. I remember the volunteer's name - Barb Nash. She was a most dedicated volunteer and saw this young woman's potential. She was an advocate, a surrogate mom and a cheerleader.
Each Parent/Child Center volunteer promised two years of service. Barb's parent was less than 20 years old and had 5 children to 5 father's as I recall. At the beginning of the program she had little hope and little vision for the future. With Barb's coaching, the young woman began to see her own potential. When this young woman did this calligraphy for me, she was nearly completing an associates degree at a community college and about to become a Parent/Child Center Volunteer herself.
Barb was this poem's voice - the one who said....
"The Little Thorny Plant That Became - by Linda Henderson
Once there was a little thorny plant that was scorned and mistreated. Nearby plants threw dirt on it, ignored it or said mean things to it. The little thorny plant grew weak and droopy.
One day a kind soul passed by. "Why are you so sad?" The kind voice asked. "I am just a worthless, thorny plant," the little one said. "Pay no attention to me."
"Oh No," the kind voice said, "Inside you hold great beauty."
But the little thorny plant did not believe. So, the kind voice returned each day carrying water, nurturing the soil and speaking softly of the great beauty inside.
After a while the thorny plant began to feel different. It stood stronger and taller. Then one day there was great excitement in the kind voice.
"Look! Look!" the kind voice said and pointed to the little plant's reflection.
The little thorny plant could hardly believe it's eyes. Right up top, a hundred times bigger than any thorn, was a beautiful white rose. A feeling of great peace came over the little plant. Though the thorns were still there, it did not matter. Now the little plant knew, inside all along, was a rose just waiting to bloom."
Looking at the calligraphy, I know the young woman's initials were KEH. Somehow I know in my soul, she is continuing to do good things. I am thankful to look at this poem she made for me!
I was leaving as Director of the Volunteer program under which the Exchange Club Parent/Child Center ran. The Parent/Child Center matched trained volunteers with parents, usually single mothers, who were identified as "at risk" of child abuse or neglect. The volunteers became mentors and advocates, aiding these young parents in working through the system and working their way past the issues causing such risk. It was an amazing program. In the short time I was involved there were great stresses but there were also great joys. This young woman and her mentor were great inspirations. I remember the volunteer's name - Barb Nash. She was a most dedicated volunteer and saw this young woman's potential. She was an advocate, a surrogate mom and a cheerleader.
Each Parent/Child Center volunteer promised two years of service. Barb's parent was less than 20 years old and had 5 children to 5 father's as I recall. At the beginning of the program she had little hope and little vision for the future. With Barb's coaching, the young woman began to see her own potential. When this young woman did this calligraphy for me, she was nearly completing an associates degree at a community college and about to become a Parent/Child Center Volunteer herself.
Barb was this poem's voice - the one who said....
"The Little Thorny Plant That Became - by Linda Henderson
Once there was a little thorny plant that was scorned and mistreated. Nearby plants threw dirt on it, ignored it or said mean things to it. The little thorny plant grew weak and droopy.
One day a kind soul passed by. "Why are you so sad?" The kind voice asked. "I am just a worthless, thorny plant," the little one said. "Pay no attention to me."
"Oh No," the kind voice said, "Inside you hold great beauty."
But the little thorny plant did not believe. So, the kind voice returned each day carrying water, nurturing the soil and speaking softly of the great beauty inside.
After a while the thorny plant began to feel different. It stood stronger and taller. Then one day there was great excitement in the kind voice.
"Look! Look!" the kind voice said and pointed to the little plant's reflection.
The little thorny plant could hardly believe it's eyes. Right up top, a hundred times bigger than any thorn, was a beautiful white rose. A feeling of great peace came over the little plant. Though the thorns were still there, it did not matter. Now the little plant knew, inside all along, was a rose just waiting to bloom."
Looking at the calligraphy, I know the young woman's initials were KEH. Somehow I know in my soul, she is continuing to do good things. I am thankful to look at this poem she made for me!
Tuesday, May 31, 2011
Building our Community
Last weekend 6 friends went to the Butler Outdoor Extravaganza and took a class to build sailboats. Hopefully by the end of summer we will have 3 Puddle Duck Racers to sail about. I'm looking forward to more fun work days.
It reminded me of many positive childhood memories. Our extended family was really good at collecting and working on joint projects for one another. I remember aunts, grandma, great aunts and cousins gathering to go berry picking or to northeast cherry picking.
Uncle Bill and Aunt Margie had great gardens and in the spring they took the kids to a farm to shovel up the fertilizer. These were events. Always there was great food involved, laughter and hopefully cranking to make homemade ice cream.
Extended family spent many hours helping Dad put an addition on our house. It was hard work but I remember the shared times. I learned so much from those experiences. In addition to using tools, I learned about working together. There probably were tense moments but I don't remember them. I remember feeling good about helping each other and getting a lot done.
As we were working Saturday and these memories flooded my mind, I thought about our friend Robbie's pear trees last year. She had told us they were so full of pears she didn't know what to do with them and didn't get them harvested. DAG! My mommy and aunts and cousins would have made an event out that. We missed it.
I've been thinking since about home projects that friends have expressed feeling overwhelmed about. Could we make an event out of that? It takes trust and a cooperative spirit. But when people really work together on a thing, the work goes faster and we build something more than the project at hand. We lift each other up and we build a stronger community.
Most of us realize that in relation to building a float for the parade, or volunteering together on a project but we tend to draw a line at helping each other up close and personal. We need to be as close as family to do that. Hopefully more friends can be close as family. Our extended family. I think we could all use a little more of that.
It reminded me of many positive childhood memories. Our extended family was really good at collecting and working on joint projects for one another. I remember aunts, grandma, great aunts and cousins gathering to go berry picking or to northeast cherry picking.
Uncle Bill and Aunt Margie had great gardens and in the spring they took the kids to a farm to shovel up the fertilizer. These were events. Always there was great food involved, laughter and hopefully cranking to make homemade ice cream.
Extended family spent many hours helping Dad put an addition on our house. It was hard work but I remember the shared times. I learned so much from those experiences. In addition to using tools, I learned about working together. There probably were tense moments but I don't remember them. I remember feeling good about helping each other and getting a lot done.
As we were working Saturday and these memories flooded my mind, I thought about our friend Robbie's pear trees last year. She had told us they were so full of pears she didn't know what to do with them and didn't get them harvested. DAG! My mommy and aunts and cousins would have made an event out that. We missed it.
I've been thinking since about home projects that friends have expressed feeling overwhelmed about. Could we make an event out of that? It takes trust and a cooperative spirit. But when people really work together on a thing, the work goes faster and we build something more than the project at hand. We lift each other up and we build a stronger community.
Most of us realize that in relation to building a float for the parade, or volunteering together on a project but we tend to draw a line at helping each other up close and personal. We need to be as close as family to do that. Hopefully more friends can be close as family. Our extended family. I think we could all use a little more of that.
Tuesday, May 24, 2011
IT just IS
In an earlier post I talked about visiting a few local churches and how transforming it has been for me - helping me get over fears of religious bigotry. In reaction to many difficult situations, I have to admit to having stereotyped Christian churches and church people. Despite having grown up in a Christian home and pretty much identified as Christian, I grew to dislike the word "christian" and reacted badly to it. I am thankful that friends have taken me to task on that and encouraged me to face this fear - to recognize this stereotype. I have felt welcomed in a Methodist Church, a Catholic Church and most welcomed in a Presbyterian Church.
The experience has provoked some very pointed and deep discussions about Christianity with some of my dear friends. With great love and concern, I have learned that their motivation revolves around wanting me to be with them in the "next life". Knowing that they view this "next life" as eternal, they must like me a lot. Why would you want to spend eternity with someone you don't like?
So, where am I in this journey? First, my assessment of "religion" of any form is that it is merely a philosophy. A philosophy is difficult to prove right or wrong - especially when much of it is based on what will happen after you die. Your guess is as good as mine. It appears to me, most people are trying to hedge their bets. Who is most convincing in assuring a ticket to the best outcome? What I hear is - "just buy the ticket, silly woman."
And then I think, "Silly woman, who has a ticket, really?" What's for sale?
It's all philosophy. By what standard are you going to live your life?
Do you believe there is a devil? Ahhhh, then, "the devil is in the details." If we are caught up in the "details" of everyone believing in the things we believe - it's a devil!
I believe there is a positive force that we can choose or not choose. To me, that positive force is God - however you see her or him or it. That is the source of all life, all death, all power. That IS the GREAT it IS. And perhaps I am even wrong in calling it positive or negative. IT IS. IT is the force - the energy of all things - IT is everywhere and always and ever will be. We can surrender to it or resist it but IT IS and always WILL BE. Our best hope is to understand that power and how to become one with it. I believe that is what Jesus tried to teach us. And I believe we lost much of his message along the way because humans tried to make it something else. IT just IS.
The experience has provoked some very pointed and deep discussions about Christianity with some of my dear friends. With great love and concern, I have learned that their motivation revolves around wanting me to be with them in the "next life". Knowing that they view this "next life" as eternal, they must like me a lot. Why would you want to spend eternity with someone you don't like?
So, where am I in this journey? First, my assessment of "religion" of any form is that it is merely a philosophy. A philosophy is difficult to prove right or wrong - especially when much of it is based on what will happen after you die. Your guess is as good as mine. It appears to me, most people are trying to hedge their bets. Who is most convincing in assuring a ticket to the best outcome? What I hear is - "just buy the ticket, silly woman."
And then I think, "Silly woman, who has a ticket, really?" What's for sale?
It's all philosophy. By what standard are you going to live your life?
Do you believe there is a devil? Ahhhh, then, "the devil is in the details." If we are caught up in the "details" of everyone believing in the things we believe - it's a devil!
I believe there is a positive force that we can choose or not choose. To me, that positive force is God - however you see her or him or it. That is the source of all life, all death, all power. That IS the GREAT it IS. And perhaps I am even wrong in calling it positive or negative. IT IS. IT is the force - the energy of all things - IT is everywhere and always and ever will be. We can surrender to it or resist it but IT IS and always WILL BE. Our best hope is to understand that power and how to become one with it. I believe that is what Jesus tried to teach us. And I believe we lost much of his message along the way because humans tried to make it something else. IT just IS.
Monday, May 23, 2011
The garden of the Thankful
Each day stop a moment and count 10 people or things you are thankful to have in your life. If you mostly count material things, try again.
With every passing day I grow more convinced that true joy - joyful people - are most grateful for relationships. They treasure them - nurture them - seek them out - welcome them. Joyful people tend relationships in the same way gardeners tend their gardens. They prune, they fertilize, they water and they weed. And they celebrate every bud, every stage of growth with cultivation as rewarding as the anticipated harvest.
They expect the best but know it doesn't just drop from the sky. Relationships can be tender things. They need care. And the greater the care, the greater the joy.
If you are grateful for things, let them be things that build relationships. Count them and be thankful every day!
Monday, May 16, 2011
Fearless
If there was one wish I could have granted for myself and the world, I think it might be to be fearless. When I think of fearless, I don't mean rushing out to slay dragons, I mean having no need to slay a dragon because the dragon does not fear me and I do not fear the dragon. Fearless, for me, means peaceful.
I believe it is fear that separates us. It's fear that drives anger and war. It's fear that keeps us from taking risks that could lead to big things. We lock our houses out of fear. We don't help a stranger out of fear. We don't talk to people because we fear.
Fear works well to alienate us from one another.
I've wondered often why bullies become bullies - why some people become mean spirited - why some people grow difficult to work with. I think it's fear. They are driven by fear of something and it is probably deeply rooted in childhood. They shove the fear deep inside and then it comes out in irrational behavior. I imagine them as a child and wonder what trauma's they endured to condition them this way. What a sad thing!
I enjoy working with dogs - especially young rescues. I know that there is a point that they cannot recover from past conditioning - they cannot overcome acting out of fear. By the age of 2, if they act out in some aggressive way or cower when there is no obvious need, it will not get better over time. If I cannot help them get over fears, fear will grow into bad behavior.
People are the same. While they may comprehend that their behavior is not accepted by most, they simply work harder to justify it. They learn to create bigger and bigger stories. They learn how to tap into our emotional triggers. It may be God, or a danger, or painting themselves as victims/martyrs for a cause. They can be very charismatic and very convincing for those who do not see all that they do.
But eventually they fall apart. These are the people who in their 50's and beyond wind up spending countless wasted hours alone or with few around them to hear their stories. Sadly, the few who stay, are victimized in some way. The mean old man beats his live in girlfriend or wife. Fear keeps her there or some odd sense of being able to save him somehow. The old woman gets a few church people to rally to her aid and keep her afloat without one questioning why she does not help herself. And why is she not spending some of those countless hours in front of the TV helping anyone else? They have internalized the many stories she has told of how she has been a victim and they overlook the irrational ways she acts. But for how long? How sad for all!
Well - I can't leave this on a sad and sorry note. What do we do about these difficult people? I say, be kind to them but keep a safe distance. They will bite you. Let them dig into their deep caves and don't go in with them. They will bite you.
Go out into the world and be fearless. Learn which dogs/people are beyond your reach. If they can learn to overcome fear, they will come to you. If not, they are best left in the cave on their own where they feel safe. If you go into the cave, they will deal with you on their terms. That is not a good thing. Stay in the light!
I believe it is fear that separates us. It's fear that drives anger and war. It's fear that keeps us from taking risks that could lead to big things. We lock our houses out of fear. We don't help a stranger out of fear. We don't talk to people because we fear.
Fear works well to alienate us from one another.
I've wondered often why bullies become bullies - why some people become mean spirited - why some people grow difficult to work with. I think it's fear. They are driven by fear of something and it is probably deeply rooted in childhood. They shove the fear deep inside and then it comes out in irrational behavior. I imagine them as a child and wonder what trauma's they endured to condition them this way. What a sad thing!
I enjoy working with dogs - especially young rescues. I know that there is a point that they cannot recover from past conditioning - they cannot overcome acting out of fear. By the age of 2, if they act out in some aggressive way or cower when there is no obvious need, it will not get better over time. If I cannot help them get over fears, fear will grow into bad behavior.
People are the same. While they may comprehend that their behavior is not accepted by most, they simply work harder to justify it. They learn to create bigger and bigger stories. They learn how to tap into our emotional triggers. It may be God, or a danger, or painting themselves as victims/martyrs for a cause. They can be very charismatic and very convincing for those who do not see all that they do.
But eventually they fall apart. These are the people who in their 50's and beyond wind up spending countless wasted hours alone or with few around them to hear their stories. Sadly, the few who stay, are victimized in some way. The mean old man beats his live in girlfriend or wife. Fear keeps her there or some odd sense of being able to save him somehow. The old woman gets a few church people to rally to her aid and keep her afloat without one questioning why she does not help herself. And why is she not spending some of those countless hours in front of the TV helping anyone else? They have internalized the many stories she has told of how she has been a victim and they overlook the irrational ways she acts. But for how long? How sad for all!
Well - I can't leave this on a sad and sorry note. What do we do about these difficult people? I say, be kind to them but keep a safe distance. They will bite you. Let them dig into their deep caves and don't go in with them. They will bite you.
Go out into the world and be fearless. Learn which dogs/people are beyond your reach. If they can learn to overcome fear, they will come to you. If not, they are best left in the cave on their own where they feel safe. If you go into the cave, they will deal with you on their terms. That is not a good thing. Stay in the light!
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