War is ugly

 Many years ago, I got to know Charlie as he invited me to join him on the porch at his farm in Fulton County. He was a few years older than my dad and had served in the Navy in WWII. Charlie loved to tell stories and share his favorite Pabst Blue Ribbon beer. It was not my favorite beer but I never turned him down because I knew he was in that story telling mood.

He talked a little about the war and once told me how his arm had been so badly injured in a truck accident. He drove a dump truck for a local sand and gravel and took great pride in his ability to perfectly spread a driveway controlling the dumping.

His favorite topic was civil war history of the area including the confederate march through McConellsburg toward Gettysburg. He gave great context to the history having known a woman who was 10 years old when they came through the area. Perhaps he sat on her porch just as I was, listening and asking questions, happily soaking it all in. 

So close to the Mason Dixon line, families divided. Charlie explained that they would often change the spelling of their last names to designate their allegiance - North or South. In his own family history, Cutchall's were north and Gutchall's were south. There were Smiths and Smyths. The war pitted brother against brother.

As the confederates marched through Fulton County, they burned and pillaged. The woman he knew said there was just one egg they didn't find on their farm. They took everything they could find. They burned McConnallsburg. In the south, Union troops did the same. War is ugly. 

Those stories follow me anytime I explore the site of a battle. Standing beside the creek at Antietam, my stomach churned to imagine it ran red from the blood of the wounded and dead. People knew one another. Opposing officers often went to West Point together - served together once. They became enemies. War is ugly.

Too often movies and history books romanticize war. The horrors and pain are softened. Those who live through it can barely speak of it. Charlie could talk about the civil war history but not so much his experiences in WWII. His ship was part of battles in the far east but that's about all he would say and he'd get quiet a while. War is ugly.

The south argued and some continue to say, the Civil War was about state's rights. That's a way to hide the ugly truth. It was about state's right to allow slavery. The current calls for insurrection are hiding behind something as well. History will reveal it. Hopefully, before it's too late truth will lead us to a greater way because War is ugly.

 

It's gut check time

 It's gut check time.

If you have lived long enough, you have had times when something triggered a reaction that you later regretted. We all have those places that are so sacred to us that we will do most anything to protect that sacred space and even behave outside of who we believe ourselves to be. 

It's gut check time.

If you have lived long enough to have had that experience - to have acted outside of your acceptable behavior, it's time to reach out to those who are acting outside of what would seem to be acceptable to them.

It's gut check time.

If you have lived long enough, have long enough ties, be ready to take your loved ones and long time friends by the hand in empathy. It's time to reach out and act within the boundaries of acceptable behavior and walk each other to a better place.

It's gut check time.

If you have lived long enough, you have seen the carnage of violence. You have experienced the pain of war. You know the pain of loss. You have seen the power of love. It's time to reach out and act within the boundaries of acceptable behavior and walk each other to a better place.

It's gut check time.

How powerful is your conviction? How deep is your commitment to love and peace? You have seen the power of love. It's time to reach out and act within the boundaries of acceptable behavior and walk each other to a better place.

It's gut check time.

It humbles me

Hildegard Von Bingen has come to my attention these days. She was a remarkable spiritual leader in the Middle Ages at a time when women were rarely held in high regard in any sense. As I begin to explore her teachings and impact, one word emerges: Connection.

This year, that is my word - my mantra - my focus of inspiration - Connection. It's long been my spiritual belief that we are intrinsically connected to all things in all ways. If we want to understand "God" we need to understand connection. Nothing is separate from us and that has always included "God". We are connected to all things in all ways. That includes all that ever was and all that ever will be.

It humbles me. In recent weeks I have been reminded of my connections in many ways. I can inspire others to be their better selves. I can influence others to set aside their better selves. There is an inner voice that guides me but I do not always find it most impactful. What I say and what I do matters in a very connected way. 

When I feel there is danger and fail to act to minimize it, there are connections I have to what then happens. When I am wrong in believing something and cause actions based on my erroneous beliefs, there are connections to what happens. When I see the best in someone and help them to see it, there are connections to what they do with their confidence. Connections matter. My connections matter.

It humbles me. I feel a great responsibility to seek truth, to speak truth and to act on the truths revealed to me. I always need to seek to be better and to remain focused on truth because it is what connects to "God". 

I place "God" in quotes because it (He) (She) is actually that ultimate connection to all things in all ways. "God" is everything that ever was and ever will be. If we are or ever were disconnected, we failed to see that truth. All people are part of God. All things are part of God. Our actions show our understanding of connections (God in all people and all things) or not.

It humbles me.