Sunday, March 29, 2009

Your underground spirit

Lately I've been focused on individuals who make a contribution somehow.  What is it that sets them apart?
Dig beneath the surface and you see that they had a very human side.  They were not perfect.  They had failed relationships.  Some had temper tantrums.  Some had addictions.  They suffered poverty.  They were often rejected - even ridiculed - in their lifetimes.  And yet, they achieved a lasting legacy somehow.  What set them apart?
I believe it is deep rooted - deep underground - a passion for something.  Something they could not let go of no matter what.  A belief - a message - that could not be buried.    Some universal truth that springs up beyond the rational and mundane.  And that truth strikes a chord with any who can hear it.   Some part of us yearns for it.  Some part of us wants to bring that truth alive.  But instead we push that spirit underground.  We push the spirit of other's underground.
It seems to me, it's time to stop that.  

Thursday, March 26, 2009


This last week I watched both Milk and the documentary about Harvey Milk.  And I thought about my life.  My life.  Underground.  I remember those days.  I entered college in 1975.  By 1977, I accepted that I was a lesbian.  And, while in college, I wanted to start a revolution.  
Instead, in 1978, I entered the USAF.  I had to pretend I was not a lesbian.  Several years into my military service, I got a top secret security clearance.  I was a lesbian.  My supervisor suspected so.  And, he asked as he told me my clearance had come through, "How do you feel about gay people in the military having a top secret security clearance?"  
'Gay people aren't supposed to be in the military', I answered. 
 "But if they are, they could be blackmailed." He said.  
'And if they admit to being gay, they are honorably discharged, correct?'  I said, "But if they give away top secret information, they are charged with treason, correct?'
He acknowledged.
'Which would you choose?', I asked.
He asked no more questions.  I served my time in the USAF - honorably, without instance.  Underground.