Monday, January 28, 2013

The Project's purpose

People take a lot of approaches to things.  Some get the idea to build something and just dive in.  Others read and study the project, then start.  Others look for someone to show them how to do it.  Some look for someone else to do it.  Others just have the idea but never do anything about it all; except maybe talk about it.
I think life is one big project.  We should be building our lives the way we want them to be.  Some people just dive in and go with it.  Others look for instruction and guidance.  Some look for someone else to do it.  Others talk about living but don't quite seem to be going anywhere.
There are plenty of instruction manuals.  The challenge is that it's such a long project with so many variables that no one set of instructions covers everything.  I've yet to meet someone who isn't improvising.  The compass might be pointing a specific direction but everyone runs into a swamp or two along the way.
Maybe there aren't clear and concise instructions because the point of the project is to learn to improvise.

Monday, January 14, 2013

Are you Entitled?

Have you noticed a smaller paycheck?  I'm somewhat humored that it's referred to as the payroll tax.  It seems those talking about it are avoiding saying it is our Social Security tax.  It is what you and I are paying into the Social Security system, which in the past was considered a government sponsored insurance program for the masses.
Today it's often referred to as an "entitlement program".  HMMMMM.  I don't mind paying into an insurance policy.  I pay my car insurance.  I pay my house insurance.  I pay for extra disability insurance at work.  I have life insurance.  If anyone began calling those "entitlement programs", I would take issue what that.  I pay for these things in expectation that they will be there for me when I need them.
I'm certain over the years I have paid far more in car insurance than I will ever use in my lifetime.  So far I have paid years of house insurance and never used it.  It's likely that I have paid far more into Social Security than I will ever use in my lifetime.  That's how insurance works.  Some people wind up paying more and using less than other people do.  Imagine your car or homeowner insurer suddenly acting somewhat miffed that you would actually expect them to cover what you had been paying into under the belief of coverage like it was some sort of entitlement.
I don't mind paying a little more if it's honestly needed.  And I don't mind paying a little more to ensure that it is there when I need it - in the way I have been told that it would be there for the past 35+ years that I've paid into it.  Yes, I kind of think I'm entitled to believe it ought to be there.  When I pay for something, I think I'm entitled to get what I believe I'm paying for in return.
I think we are all ENTITLED to expect that the people we pay to watch over these things, don't give themselves a better deal than they provide everyone else.  The people pointing the "entitlement" finger in Congress provide themselves a pretty cushy deal.  They don't need to work until 65 or 67 to receive a government sponsored pension.  They have no concern over health benefits.  We need to start pointing the Entitlement finger back at them.

Tuesday, January 1, 2013


The Inuit people have many words for snow.  Snow is an important part of their culture and one word is not enough.  Not all snow is alike.
In Greek and Hebrew there are various words for love.  They recognized different types of love; brotherly love, intimate love, love and kindness, unconditional love, etc.  One word was not enough.
A single word assigned to a complex thing just isn't enough.
The complex concept of forgiveness has troubled me for a long time.  How do we deal with conflicts?  When someone wrongs us or someone we love, what should we do?
Christian teaching seems a bit conflicted to me.  Jesus said to turn the other cheek.  Does that mean you let the person smack that cheek too?
Jesus said if your brother comes to you seeking forgiveness you must forgive him "seventy-seven times".  The bible says we have to forgive others or we will not be forgiven.  And yet, in order for us to be forgiven, we must confess our sins.  So, do we forgive others if they do not "confess" their sins?
I don't think the one word "forgiveness" is enough for this complex issue.  And the Christian teachings remain confusing to me.
So I looked for what Buddha had to say.  I found this story:
Buddha on Forgiveness
Buddha is sitting under a tree with his followers and a man comes up and spits on him.  Buddha calmly asks the man "What's next?"  Of course, that is not the reaction the man expected and he went away confused.
Buddha's followers were angry.  Buddha told them they were wrong to be angry.  The man was trying to say something that he could not.  It wasn't Buddha he was spitting on but rather something that he believed about Buddha that could not be true.  They did not know each other.
Meanwhile, the man could not sleep.  All night he considered Buddha's reaction to what he had done.  The next day he was full of remorse and went to ask Buddha's forgiveness, falling at his feet.
Buddha said there was no need for forgiveness.  Neither of them was the same person they had been the day before.  A lot had happened in 24 hours.  He invited the man to stay and talk.
So what does this all mean?
In asking calmly "What's next?", he did the unexpected very much like turning the other cheek.  But it strikes me that asking the question has other meanings.  In not reacting, Buddha put the responsibility squarely on the man.  He gave the man nothing negative to react about and caused him to consider his action in the present as well as "next".  Buddha did not take the man's action personally.  The man was wrong and it wasn't about Buddha.
So, the first part of the lesson seems to be that if someone clearly wrongs you and you have done nothing to deserve it, don't take it personally and let it remain with that person.  Don't feed the monster.  Don't hang onto it.  It's not your issue.
The second part of the lesson seems to be that if the person comes asking forgiveness, there will be nothing to forgive.  You need no healing because you did not accept the wound.  They are now healed and no longer unable to express themselves in a positive way.
Should there be a word for not internalizing a wrong?  It's like instant forgiveness.  It's a recognition of the other person's pain or struggle.  Maybe another word for not needing to forgive someone because you accept no harm from them.  Then maybe another word for forgiveness of physical harm.
It just seems that forgiveness is too important and multifaceted to be covered with just one word.