One thing that can keep me up at night is trying to figure out why someone has behaved outside of what I would expect them to behave. More specifically, outside of how I thought their values would lead them to behave. More specifically, why would they hurt a friend?
Luckily I don't loose much sleep these days as I don't spend time with people whom I know intentionally hurt people. But once in a while one slips in. I analyze and try to understand why they have done what they have done. Nearly always these words surface: "desperate people, do desperate things".
I believe everything we do has a motive - both good and bad. Those motives may be simple. I'm hungry - I eat. The motive is to not feel hungry. The motive may be complex. I befriend someone I really don't care for because they serve another purpose that is equally as complex.
I really struggle to understand complexities in motives. It's the undoing of relationships - societies, international relations... Complexity of motives is the failing of the human race. The more complex anything becomes, the more difficult it becomes to manage. As the complexity builds, justifications get deeper and deeper - adding more layers of complexity. Everything and everyone surrounding it spirals in the whirlpool the complexity has created.
My personal and spiritual goals are to keep life simple. I'm learning - perhaps slowly - that the requirement is to deal with issues before they become complex. Face the difficult issues before they grow too large. Most importantly - be in touch with my own motives in all I do. Then assess what my motives are in relationship with those affected.
We do not live on islands where our decisions only impact us. Everything we do - everything we think - everything we say - is part of something much larger than we know. We need to act responsibly, think responsibly and speak responsibly with a deep understanding that we are all connected in exquisite ways. That is how we change the world. One act - one thought - one word at a time.