Gender questions and the bathroom

Growing up in the 60's and 70's, I was a "tomboy". My mission was to run faster, climb higher, build bigger and jump my bike farther. Entering my teenage years, I didn't "grow out of it" and one day Dad asked why I didn't "act more like a girl." I wasn't interested in make up, dresses or high heels. In his question was the answer - I did not care to "act" based on anyone's definition of my gender role. I just wanted to act like me. I wanted to do what I could do and do the things that interested me.
Fortunately for me, I grew up in an era where many women were breaking free of gender roles and seeking their own identity.
I wanted to create my own identity. I simply wanted to be me. It wasn't easy and people often expressed their vision of gender identity. Breaking into broadcasting and video production at a time when few women were in the field, I heard "the broad in broadcasting does not stand for women." Twenty years ago as I lugged video equipment underground, the mining industry was just opening up to women and I was often the first woman to have ever entered certain mines. "It's considered unlucky to have a woman underground," I was told. So I ran faster, climbed higher, built bigger and jumped further.
There have been times of frustration wondering why I had to work harder just to prove myself worthy of being treated equally. At times it was challenging to avoid a sense of paranoia or developing a defeatist attitude. Add the dynamic of not identifying as a straight woman and the challenge grew even larger. Some would argue that I made my life difficult by refusing to conform. I thank my lucky stars, the divine, and my guiding angels that I never conformed to an "act". Through all my mistakes and misfortunes, I have been me - just me.
In 1972, during many study halls, I talked about life's frustrations including gender roles with an older student; a girl I most admired. She was smart, pretty and about to graduate so I thought she had the world by the tail. One day she said the most baffling thing; "I feel like I am a man trapped in a woman's body. I want to get a sex change." I thought she was perfect the way she was and I had never imagined wanting a different body. After she graduated I called her number - a number I had called and talked with her before - and they told me no one by that name lived there. I wish I knew what happened to her.
Not feeling right in the body you were born in - your gender - is difficult to understand for those of us who have not experienced it. It's not our experience. But I can readily identify with being expected to "act" like something other than what I know to be true for me. I know what it feels like to be condemned for refusing to conform to what makes others comfortable. I fully understand what lengths people will go to in their attempts to drive non-conformists to "act" as they may visualize one should "act". They will say it's just "not right", "sinful", and name every extreme fear they can name to try to put pressure enough to make you go away. And they will try to eliminate your ability to work, to live in certain places and to be part of an extended community.
Know this - once a person discovers that there is a path to be true to themselves, they will follow it. No amount of obstructionism will stop them. Truth - Truth - Truth - prevails. I won't wear heels. I don't wear dresses and I don't wear make up (though I may regret not knowing how to hide the wrinkles I'm noticing.)
Passing bathroom laws will not make Transgender people go away. Actually, we've been sharing bathrooms with Transgender people for years and didn't even know it. Why not? Because it's not an issue! I fully embrace my transgender friends right to use the bathroom that fits their identity. If that frightens you, please get to know a transgender person. Really, they have much bigger concerns to have to deal with than trying to figure out if they are safe to use a bathroom or not.

Something in the Water...

The past several years have been rather amazing for LGBT people.  Just this year, public opinion shifted to favor marriage equality.  More states have enacted marriage equality legislation.  The military has eliminated its "Don't ask, don't tell policy".  DOMA will be argued before the Supreme Court.
It seems every month a well known celebrity is breaking silence and openly discussing their own same-sex relationships.  Jodi Foster, Suzi Orman, Anderson Cooper and many more are no longer afraid that their careers will be ruined if they are known.
Is it something in the water?  Has the secret "gay agenda" finally taken hold?
No, there's nothing in the water and if LGBT people have an agenda, it's simply to have the same rights afforded straight couples. 
"Every gay person must come out.... Once they realize we are indeed their children, we are indeed everywhere, every myth, every lie, every innuendo will be destroyed once and for all." -HARVEY MILK
It's long been believed that approximately 10% of the population is gay, lesbian, bi-sexual or transgender.  If you know 1000 people, 100 of them are likely gay or lesbian. Within your family, 1 in every 10 are likely LGBT.  If you did not know that, it's because no one talked about it.  We all bought into the myths, the lies and the innuendos and everyone remained silent.
Just as Harvey Milk predicted, as more LGBT people are breaking their silence, the myths, lies and innuendos are being destroyed.
It will be very hard for some people to shed those myths, and to stop believing the lies.  For some, these are deeply held beliefs intertwined in religious teachings.  These people will continue to believe the world is flat until and unless they walk around the world and don't fall off the edge.  It will be the next generation who make the greatest strides.
Meanwhile, put your seat belts on because the greater the push for change, the greater those resisting change will push back.  We're going to hear some interesting, and sometimes odd, discussion as we get closer to the Supreme Court ruling on DOMA.  Both sides have fought very hard and no one likes being on the loosing end of an argument.  No matter which way the ruling goes, there will be outrage.
It's important for everyone to understand that LGBT people are not going away and will never go away.  The majority of Americans now understand that LGBT people have lived under a cloud of myths and lies.  Those myths and lies cannot be re-applied.
If you're hanging onto those myths and lies, you may as well believe the world is flat. 

What is Progressive?

Last weekend was the first PA Progressive Summit in Harrisburg.  More than 500 people gathered from varied perspectives to talk about how to better solve serious issues.  It was an amazing mix - labor, education, women's rights, LGBT rights, environmentalists, interfaith community... all feeling we shared much common ground in our desire to make our communities better.

What I love about the experience is that the focus was solutions.  While the issues and stumbling blocks were discussed, there was an overwhelming sense of focus on overcoming the issues and removing roadblocks.  There was no name calling or character assassination regarding those on opposing sides.  There was no talk of protests and attack strategies.

We talked about building bridges, communicating more effectively, building strong social relationships, and supporting those in our communities with similar vision.  I also heard great wisdom about dealing with those who may seem to oppose the issues we may raise.  It was very much an overall message of lifting one another up and lifting our communities - finding common ground through which we can make progress.

It was wonderful to see people I crossed paths with before - from Harrisburg, DC and in other gatherings.  I walked away feeling great about a growing network across the state and feeling great about the positive people I've grown to admire in Venango County.

In my mind, being progressive means working for solutions.  It's about seeing things that need done and finding ways to do them.  

From freedictionary.com

1. Moving forward; advancing.

2. Proceeding in steps; continuing steadily by increments: progressive change.

3. Promoting or favoring progress toward better conditions or new policies, ideas, or methods

Check out details at http://paprogressivesummit.org/