The Head Boppers

Not long ago I thought about writing the story of a church in some small town where the parishioners decided to make huge foam hammers and bop one another on the head as a reminder of the need to get right with God.  So, every Sunday morning they all carried their big foam hammers into the sanctuary and bopped one another on the head.  No one really remembered how this head bopping practice started but it went on for a while every Sunday and they felt God had inspired and blessed the practice.
One Sunday morning the pastor suggested that they needed to spread the message and bop heads wherever possible.  So, the congregation began taking their huge foam hammers to the streets of the little town and began bopping the heads of anyone who came close.  This became accepted practice in the little community and went on for many years.  Some were not happy about it but the church was powerful in the community and so no one complained.
Then one day someone spoke out against the head bopping practice.  They did not appreciate the significance and though it may have been a harmless huge foam hammer, they felt it was an annoyance.
Before long, the issue was front page of the newspaper.  There were letters to the editor - for and against.  And very soon the issue came before the court with non-head bopping believing citizens seeking to prevent the practice of bopping heads willy nilly throughout the community.
The head bopping parishioners were outraged that anyone was offended.  "You are infringing on our religious freedom," they insisted. They rallied and marched carrying their huge foam hammers saying God would reign terror on the little town for their disobedience.
The people who did not believe in head bopping also rallied and carried huge umbrellas as a symbol of the need to protect their heads from bopping.
After months of testimony, the court ruled that head bopping could not be done to anyone who did not wish to be bopped.  And the ruling was fairly popular in the community - especially with those who didn't believe in head bopping.  But it was not at all popular with those who felt they were called by God to bop people on the head with their big foam hammers.
After the ruling, the head bopping parishioners were very upset. "This has been our practice for many years and must remain so."
"People should be allowed to have an opinion", they said as they realized their head bopping days were no longer accepted as normal and necessary.
So, how should the story end?  Perhaps the huge foam hammers need to stay within the sanctuary of those who share the belief in the significance of head bopping.  The actual reign of terror would then end in the little town.  And everyone lives happily ever after.

Rational and Reasonable

As many predicted, including dismayed Supreme Court Justice Scalia,  marriage equality is being contested in many states across the nation.  One court after another is beginning to rule in favor of marriage equality.  If you are interested in learning more check out this site:  http://www.marriageequality.org/national-map.
Cases are currently pending in Alaska, Texas, Colorado, Arkansas, North Carolina, West Virginia and Pennsylvania.  Other cases have had initial rulings and are in various stages of legal wrangling.
Why are opponents of Marriage Equality loosing these battles?  Because there is no rational, reasonable argument against marriage equality that can hold up in court.  There is no evidence of social harm or personal harm caused by same sex marriage.  In fact, plaintiffs are proving just the opposite - that there is great personal harm in denying marriage equality.
Long believed myths about gay and lesbian people don't hold water in court.  These myths are believed less and less by society at large.  As these myths unravel, all institutions clinging to the myths will be pressured to begin making rational, reasonable decisions.  It's been interesting to watch as the myths are less believed, those desperate to fight marriage equality are beginning to tell more exaggerated stories in an effort to be convincing.  Instead, they are destroying their own credibility.
Over the next decade I expect to see churches carefully examining the full context of the scriptures they have held as evidence to deny acceptance of marriage equality.  Anyone who has actually read the Bible knows it cannot be followed literally.  It has to be viewed in a larger context.  As a result, churches will examine themselves in a full context as well - seeking understanding of their most important purpose and mission.  The change will be incremental and gradual but it will come in most mainstream Christian churches.
Of course, sadly, there will remain a minority group that will continue to attempt to spread a Ugandan style of "kill the gays" rhetoric or Russian "don't speak of gay" policing.  That is the fruit of intolerance and lack of equality.  On this issue, the choice is clear and there is no place in the middle.  The days of accepting oppression are over.  It can't be covered in a pretty package called religious freedom.  Religious freedom does not oppress.  If you believe oppression is an important part of your religious practice, you don't believe in religious freedom.  That argument might work to rally like minded people behind anti-gay rhetoric but it isn't an argument that will work in court.
You have the right to speak about and practice your religious beliefs for yourself.  Likewise, people have the right to speak out against what you say.  You do not have the right to legislate your religious beliefs simply because you decided that's how God wants it.  If that is really how God wants it, there will be a rational and reasonable explanation that will hold up in any objective court.  God's rather perfect that way.

Moral Compass?

Recent headlines continue to highlight the religious institutional struggle with accepting marriage equality.  The Methodist church has threatened to strip a pastor of his ordination because he performed the same sex marriage ceremony for his son.  A Catholic school has fired a teacher because he will soon marry his same sex partner.
Their explanation for these actions is that homosexuality is not in line with church teachings.  Those who believe they must take this moral line insist it's because of scripture.  But it is not about scripture.  There are 3 to 4 times the number of scriptures denouncing divorce.  Romans 7: 2-3, Matthew 5: 31-32,  Mark 10: 2-12,  Luke 16: 18, I Corinthians 7: 10-15, I Corinthians 7: 39 are just a few.
My point in listing these is not to criticize divorce.  Whom you decide to share your life with is a personal decision and you have the right to choose.  Both the Methodist and the Catholic churches appear to have accepted that and do not lament about divorce.  In both these churches you can marry, divorce, re-marry and hold leadership positions.  What the scriptures say have nothing to do with it.
One argument I've heard is that divorce is a one time mistake and is not a recurring sin.  However, that argument is not scriptural.  Read the scriptures listed above.
Churches attempt to be a moral compass assuming a leadership role in determining what is culturally acceptable and what is not.  That is not all bad and every culture needs a moral compass.   That moral compass needs to be firmly based in teachings of love and compassion.  Telling people they cannot love whom they love - whether an issue of divorce or an issue of same sex relationship - is NOT based in a teaching of love and compassion. 
Yes, you can argue God is to be obeyed and quote scripture after scripture.  And the next person can quote scripture that YOU are not following.  The Law and obedience path is an endless cycle of failure.  And that was the whole point of Jesus' message.  Law is not the path to God.  It is impossible to lead a life that follows scripture literally.  If churches are going to survive, they need to get over that way of thinking.
I do believe the truth is in the teachings of Jesus.  You are most likely to see those truths if you also look for the same threads in the spiritual teachings of other beliefs.  If we could all land together and focus on those common truths, we would stop fighting over issues that divide us and cause one another harm.
Marriage equality is just one of those issues.

A speck

How do you rank yourself?
Around some people - reading their words - hearing their words - I want to ask.  How do you rank yourself?
I'd be most interested to hear the answer from those who seem most certain that they have life's answers.  I'm most curious about those who "know" so much and are quick to point out how others are not measuring up.
Recently one of those people lamented about a criticism they had faced.  It had clearly shaken him and I mused.  How often I have seen him dish out searing criticism and when he faced it, he was distressed and somewhat dismissive about it.  I believe he ranked himself quite above that.  But he was having trouble processing it because it came from someone he respected.  He could not easily dismiss this person.
There are some people who simply rank themselves above most everyone else.  Having a positive relationship with them is totally dependent upon your accepting that ranking.  If they sense that you do not, they will dismiss you.  If they cannot easily dismiss you, they will seek damage.
I believe that people who rank themselves in such a way and are so protective of their position on the mountaintop, are driven by a deep seeded fear.  There is a lot of Wizard of Oz behavior going on.  Pay no attention to what's behind the curtain and simply listen to the booming voice.
We've all got a little curtain thing going on.
Humility, civility and empathy are things we should be ranking in ourselves.  We can get far too caught up in our own self importance.  Reality is that we are each just a speck of sand.  At best we can create a ripple of good that goes out and carries on.  That's not going to happen if we are focused on self importance.  That's just a ripple inward that satisfies you for a speck of a moment and goes nowhere.
So ripple in or ripple out?  If you are most important - ripple in and make yourself quite happy - for a speck of time.  OR ripple out and watch a multitude of ripples continue.  Rank that.

Civil Disobedience

One of the most powerful tools to push social change is civil disobedience - a non-violent refusal to accept a law in the face of injustice.  In Montgomery County PA, D. Bruce Hanes defied Pennsylvania law and began issuing marriage licenses to same sex couples.  Rev. Frank Schaefer defied Methodist church law and officiated at his son's same sex wedding.  Both believed they were defying unjust laws and acting on greater authority.
Hanes believed he was acting on authority of the Supreme Court and his oath to preserve the constitution. Rev. Schaefer believed he was acting on the authority of Jesus Christ.  Both knew they were headed for a direct conflict with those who feel they must protect laws preventing same sex marriage.  They chose civil disobedience.
As we watch their stories play out in the court systems - secular and religious - we are seeing history in the making.  This is a new twist.  No matter the outcome in their particular cases, more civil disobedience will follow.  What is appealing about these two cases is that they acted as though the unjust law did not exist.  They simply did what they believed was the right thing to do.  Of course they knew there were laws that would be applied to their actions and were supposed to prevent them from doing what they did.  They did it anyway.
To the best of my knowledge neither is personally gay.  They stood and they acted on behalf of others.  This takes great courage, conviction and heart.  No one would have thought less of them if they said their position prevented them from taking this stance or acting in this way.  They personally had nothing to gain and much to loose.
These are interesting and amazing times.  It's encouraging to see examples of such courage.

Once Upon a time, I had a new boss....

Just over a decade ago, I had a new boss.  Our company was undergoing enormous change and we were all under great pressure.  As tough as it is to have a new boss, it's even more difficult when you know your very job is also on the line.
We had a huge opportunity to demonstrate excellence for the company.  My new boss was certainly looking for a chance to shine in his new position.  He offered me a challenge and listened to how I would meet that challenge.  We launched the plan.  If we failed, we would fail in front of nearly 300 people including those who decided the fate of our jobs.  We rehearsed endlessly, staying up late rehearsing the night before the event.  I swear I pushed a single button 1000 times before he called it a night.
The next day, the event went off without a hitch and everyone involved in the preparations was called into a room with the top brass to assess the event's success.  They offered applause to my new boss and he literally stepped aside and pointed to my team.  In my career, I had never had a boss who did not take the limelight for himself.  In that moment, my whole perspective of the relationship between a manager and his or her subordinates was transformed.  This man was a builder of something bigger and longer lasting than one moment in the limelight.  And for more than a decade, we worked on bigger and better things for our company - together.
I never dreaded seeing him or getting a call - any time of the day or night or on a weekend.  I knew - I trusted - that if he called, it was important and it was always for the good of the company as he believed when he called.  I did not worry about ulterior motives or poor judgement or poor timing or any other concern.  Always I trusted that we had a job to do and would work together to that end.  I  trusted that he would hear my concerns, value my perspective and let me use my skills to best serve the company.
I am thankful for having that experience.  I am hopeful that I will have that experience again in my career.  I am determined to offer those who work for me, that same experience.

Advice from Molly Mutt Paws and Timid Tobey

Molly Mutt Paws and Timid Tobey Sheltie have a lot of good advice about dealing with relationships and I realize I should pay more attention to what they know.   Well, a few I may need to discuss with them further.

Molly says:
1)  Always be excited to see your human even if they were only gone 5 minutes.
2)  It's ok to ask for things but don't get too disappointed if the answer is no.
3)  Don't leave messes.
4)  If you do leave a mess, blame Tobey.
5) If you really, really want something your human doesn't want you to have, take it and apologize later.
6)  Practice a really sad and sorry look.  It's very effective on humans.
7)  Be willing to go anywhere, any time.
8)  Have a dedicated pouting area.
9)  Be persistent if your human is ignoring you.
10)  Don't worry about yesterday.

Tobey says:
1)  If you don't want to do something, act clueless.
2)  Even if you're scared, try really, really hard to get closer to nice people.
3)  Pick someone you trust (Like Molly) and try to do whatever she does.
4)  Be playful as much as possible.
5)  Have a safe spot where you can hide or kick back and spread out.
6)  Look at things through a veil sometimes.  It's very interesting.
7)  If you don't want to get close to people, at least talk to them.
8)  If your human won't pet you, get under their hand and move around.  Pretty soon they get it.
9)  Let Molly win but let her know you could win if you wanted.
10)  What's yesterday?