Sunday, December 13, 2009


What often gets us in trouble in life is expectations.  Our employer has certain expectations - fail them - we are out of a job.  Society has expectations - many of which are legislated - break them and there are consequences.  Families and friends have expectations.  Break them and conflicts ensue.
Our struggle is in determining if the expectations are reasonable and rational.  I love my job.  I am salaried which comes with an expectation that I will do whatever is needed when it is needed to be done.  To some, what I do to meet that expectation may seem unreasonable and irrational.  But I feel I am getting the return on that investment that is very reasonable.  As long as the company's expectations and mine are met, we have a happy union.
Personal relationships are the same.  Are the expectations reasonable and rational?  Is the return on investment positive on both sides?  When it is not, the relationship unravels.  
I notice with myself that I come unglued when I have expectations that are not being met.  Are my expectations realistic, reasonable and rational?  Does the other person know what I am expecting in return for my investment?  It's a two party contract.  Both parties need to know the parameters.  It's only going to work well if expectations match.  When they do, there is great joy.  It's a happy union.  
It can take serious work to get to that place.  I have had struggles with my job.  There have been times that I felt the balance was not good and even wanted to walk away.  I am very thankful that I did not!  
The successful personal relationships are the same.  We work through those expectations.  We find the space where we can find the greatest joy.  These are happy unions.  It is worth the struggle to find that joy.

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