My freshman year in college I experienced dorm life with an amazing group of young women on the second floor of High Rise II at Slippery Rock University. Toward the end of that year a group of us piled into one room, as we often did, and had a deep philosophical discussion about why we all handled situations so differently.
There were several women we noted were always happy, got along with everyone, never bowed to the porcelain god, and seemed always to be center of the funniest things we did. They had created a non-sanctioned sorority, Ogga Bogga Wogga, that poked fun at the rights of passage of sanctioned sororities and fraternities. The right of passage for new members included carrying a large bag of items everywhere you went and if a person asked about the bag, you had to pull all items out - explain their purpose - and wear some of them oddly.
We talked about our life experiences leading up to college life - religious, school and home. The woman who were less wild and crazy - most able to deal with all - had not been raised under dictum. They had been mentored in decision making. They considered consequences, had both short and long term goals, and valued the advice of an elder network. While the wildest of us felt we were breaking free, they felt free and confident. They did not fear consequences, but rather measured them and based decisions upon leading toward desired outcomes - short term AND longterm.
Making good choices is the most important skill of all. Why is it so hard for some of us to learn?