Some people have obsessions with lining things up neatly, matching things, creating symmetry and order. My obsession is dissecting unanswerable, seemingly unprovable questions. Why is there air? Should I be concerned about black holes in the Galaxy? Is there a totally different dimension that exists and is teaming with activity all around us and we just don't see it because we have no concept that it actually exists?
I can sit by a stream for hours and let my mind wonder in a hundred different directions. Where has the water been? Where will it go? What's swimming beneath the surface? Who's watching the water upstream and down?
I don't mind that I don't know the answers. Imagining all the possibilities is the pleasure of it. If I think I've arrived at an answer, I'll let it leap to the next question. Then I take answers and tear them apart seeking both the complexity and the simplicity. No single authority on the subject can stop my curiosity.
My single favorite topic to ponder is what motivates each of us to do and believe the things we do and believe? Most people seem to want to arrive at the answer and be done with the question. For me it is an endless quest. The possibilities are endless. I love the journey. There is so much more to know and understand. No single authority on the subject can stop my curiosity.
The more someone insists that something is a certain way and I must simply accept it, the greater my curiosity about how much is not known and why the need to insist on this one answer. I know, deep down, there is more. I'll sail my ship far into the ocean beyond the horizon and discover the world is not flat. I will not drop off the edge.
I see something else. It's always been that way. I've tried to conform. I've tried to accept a flat world but deep in my soul, I can't believe it. There is more. I'm happy to keep searching. The questions are as important as the answers. If I keep searching, the answers today are just stepping stones. Across this creek lies a path to a beautiful meadow full of treasures that spark more questions and greater awe in discovery.
For me it's ok that everything is not wrapped up neatly and orderly. It's ok to have more questions than answers. Looking around there seems to be as much chaos as there is order. And yet, over time, even chaos has some form of symmetry. Round and Round I go - Linda's Merry-Go-Round - full of music and dancing horses. But in my Merry-Go-Round the horses and I trot off in whatever direction seems to offer greater understanding.