Planting Seeds.

Seeds can grow. Of course, they don't always grow. And they will sometimes grow in the most unlikely places. If you have spent any time in the woods, you surely have marveled at the tree growing from what appears to be pure rock. But, a thousand seeds bounced off that rock and didn't grow. At the end of that Rock tree's life, what will remain. Most likely nothing.

If we want to really plant seeds that grow, we go to fertile ground not among Rocks.

It's not about one harvest or one tree making it - it's about generations of harvest - generations of seeds growing and re-plenishing. At the end of my season, I want to have hope that the seeds I planted create multiple harvests. I'm looking for fertile ground to plant those seeds.

Throw thousands of seeds in the Rocks - maybe - maybe - one grows. When it is done - it is done. It will have split the very foundation on which it grew. The only thing it has to show for its life is destruction.

Plant those same seeds in fertile ground and hundreds of seeds grow. And those hundred seeds grow a hundred more. That is where my energy is going - I'm seeking fertile ground! It's not about me - it's about how far and how long the seeds continue to grow.

Downsize to upscale

A young musician friend told me to never leave the audience on a sad song.

My last post may have sounded like a sad song. It was a message and the message is this - if you want good things in your life, shed the bad.

There will never be room for positive things in our lives if we hang on to negative things. Walk to the light! Walk in the light!

Friends tonight were talking about helping people downsize. Interesting that we get to a "certain age" and realize we have filled our lives with clutter. Now I am wondering why we can't figure out earlier and on our own what is clutter and what is not?

In recent years I have been most impressed by people who don't let "clutter" fill their lives. They can focus on what is important and what matters. Over the course of years, they have developed filters. "In with the good and out with the bad." They hurt sometimes. They care deeply. But they have clear visions of what they want their lives to be and what they want for the community around them. They CARE! They carefully filter out those people and things that are non-productive. They don't put energy where it will not grow into something positive.

Downsizing is about scaling up - focusing - seeing what is really important. It's about NOT wasting time and energy.

Danger from no stranger

It can be terribly embarrassing and personally devastating to realize you have been taken in by a con artist. It happens every day to very smart people and often goes un-reported. If it is reported, law enforcement and the justice system are ill equipped to deal with it in small communities. Especially if it is someone you know who is scamming you - a sociopath who will lie to you and everyone around them to get what they want.

I like people. I trust people and I nearly always root for an underdog. If you are too, then please read on. You could, like me, be an easy target for a con artist. You need to know how to spot a sociopath. I've learned a lot about it in recent years. It's not a pleasant topic and I have followed the ultimate recommendation of what to do - Get as far away as possible from this person!!!! I will say proximity makes you a potential target or useful in gaining access to a new target. A sociopath uses whatever means, whomever possible, to get what they want. Proximity makes you complicit - that simple.

What are the characteristics of the type of sociopath I'm talking about?

1) Aggressive and Antagonistic in dealing with people

2) Manipulative and deceitful - lies about even simple things

3) Never feels guilty about anything

4) When confronted with a lie, creates confusion and distraction

5) Takes from you and gives back little

6) Often appeals to pity, pretending to be the victim

7) Does not take responsibility for harming others - blames everyone and everything else

8) Does not acknowledge others contributions - even taking credit for what others have done

9) Needs to dominate - to WIN

10) Takes advantage of others kindness

The con artist has had no verifiable income for many, many years. For some reason those things they claim to have had as income, don't bring them income now. Peter doesn't know what Paul just did to help to this person. The con artist will use many methods to ensure that Peter and Paul don't talk with each other.

You read all this because you suspect you are being taken. TRUST your instincts. Walk away and don't look back.

Make a Difference!

Today something reminded me of work I did long, long ago on the other side of PA working with Volunteerism. There, the County Commissioners had a vision to promote volunteerism. Under a Human Services Development grant, they hired me as a consultant to promote volunteer involvement in two counties. Along with some dedicated volunteers, I had the privilege of working with amazing people - paid and unpaid - providing many services in the community. My job was connecting people and telling their stories. How very cool!!!

We became a center for recruiting, training, and advocating for volunteer programs. Well organized, long term volunteer driven programs quickly began helping smaller and newer programs. Our center provided a volunteer bank for one time, unusual or short term needs.

Tonight I am reminded of some of the more touching stories that linger these 25 or so years later. I got a call from a man one day saying he had heard the radio ad calling for volunteers. Would I meet him in the parking lot of my office in 15 minutes? He would be in a red pick up truck. In 15 minutes a pick up truck arrived and I walked up to his door. He said, 'I can pick up and deliver anything you need done, but someone needs to be waiting to load and unload the truck." He opened the door to reveal that he had no legs. He was on disability. But he wanted to serve the community that had served him.

Another day a woman called to say she was house bound but she loved to make personalized cards to send to people. She didn't know how that might help and she might need postage but she would like to do cards for people. I was working with all of the nursing homes in the area and asked if they had people who didn't get visitors or mail. (This might not be possible today but...) I got lists of names of people who started receiving personal greeting cards to brighten their day. And I found donors for postage.

Another day a middle aged women entered my office in tears. She was blindsided by a divorce and had not worked in 25 years. She needed to get back to work but had nothing on her resume. Could I help? She believed she had the skills to be an office manager, but had nothing to show she could. There was a well known and respected organization looking for a part time volunteer office manager. We let them know that she was trying to get experience for her resume and might not be there long term. They understood, loved her service, and within a year she had a full time job as an office manager. When I saw her the second time, she was a new woman.

What I learned in those short years is that volunteerism is as much about serving personal needs for dignity and respect as it is about serving the community. As we ask people to serve, we need to do all we can to serve their needs as well. It's a two way street. When we recognize that and serve that need, everyone gets a chance to make a difference - Those who ask and those who answer the call!

How did they make you feel?

“I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel." Maya Angelou

I read that quote and a thousand words and faces flooded my mind - or perhaps more appropriately a thousand feelings with faces and my subtitles. Who made me feel? Who made me feel worthwhile? Who made me feel useful and motivated to do more? Who gave me hope? Who lifted me to a greater understanding of the world around me?

A teacher shaped who I am more than she could ever know. I've no idea where she is or if she is even still a teacher. And I believe that, at the time she most influenced me, she was in a great state of change in her own life. She was a tough teacher and I felt, she demanded much. I had her for several English courses in high school and I believe she moved on shortly after my graduation.
In high school, I felt like an alien. Now I understand that most high school teens share that sentiment but this one teacher linked me to something that led me to a better understanding of myself. She introduced me to MS Magazine. As I recall, which might not be quite accurate, she laid a copy of the first issue on my desk back in 1973 or 4. In any case, I got my first issue of that magazine, due to her. The feeling I remember from her is that I could be more and could do more than anyone else around me was telling me. And in the classes I took from her, she was demanding more. She knew I could. That feeling of more out there and more within has remained through these many decades. I write today because she opened that door to expression in me.
While I would mark this as my driving force for social activism, my sense of community responsibility is more deeply rooted. My father is a charter member of the Sandycreek Volunteer fire department. We grew up with a fire phone in our house and were all trained on how to answer and respond to an emergency call. My sisters and I were encouraged and supported in fundraising efforts for the Cancer Society, Heart Association and church sponsored efforts to help those in need. It was a great part of our family culture. I am thankful for that and know that it continues to "make me feel" that community is very important. I don't remember what all we said or what all we did but I remember the feeling and carry that today. From those days, I carry a great sense of commitment to community service.
But then - there was a long lull in my community service and activism. I volunteered through my Air Force days where, against advice, I volunteered for everything and loved it. It lasted through my college graduation. It lasted through my first post military job where I become a contracted volunteer advocate. Why did I suddenly then become uninvolved?
Fear. Fear. I became afraid.
I got a job teaching. And the people I was closest to then told me that if I was known for who I really was, I could loose my job. And six years or so later, I went to work for a corporation and many of same people told me that I could not be known for who I was or I would loose my job.
I've tried to explain this fear to friends and it is hard. But I will try to take you to that moment when I decided fear would not drive me.
That shall be part II of this post - How did they make you feel?

Is it the place?

Have you ever gone back to a place with which you have an emotional attachment? Maybe the house you grew up in, a favorite hang out, your elementary school....
Going back, you realize it doesn't have the same energy it did then. Often the space even feels smaller than you remember. It just isn't the same.
The energy that comes with our memories isn't about the place itself but we associate it that way. Our emotions are about the people who occupied that time and place with us. That energy has changed.
We may be able to make new connections, build new energy and create new memories in that place but we cannot get back what was in those past times.
Sad but true.

Why I sing spirituals

I love to sing spirituals which might seem a little odd to those who know my religious views well.
I describe myself as spiritual - Unitarian - in that I believe all religions have some things right (and some things wrong.) And when I really start explaining what I believe, some of my closest friends have thought it means I am atheist or agnostic. The depth of it is simple. I don't believe I can prove myself right in my beliefs any more than I believe anyone else can. What's important is to believe in being a better person and treating other's better - study the human condition and be committed to improving it. If your spiritual path takes you there, I applaud.
I've avoided the very Christian churches I was raised in because I have felt for many years that they were all "hell bent" on selecting for themselves who could and could not belong to "God's Kingdom". They have seemed way too confident in their understanding of what God wants.
But I have never stopped singing and loving the spirituals - even favorite hymns. It is part of my history and heritage but there is something more. As a young teen, I recall learning to sing and play the spiritual "All my Trials" - probably the first slavery era spiritual I learned. I connected with both the pain and the hope of that song. It prompted me to learn about the origins of "negro spirituals". I learned about the Underground Railroad at the same time - 1969 - that the civil rights movement was at fever pitch.
The spirituals are filled with meaning. Some were coded messages meant to let other slaves know that an escape was coming. "Freedom Land", one of my favorites, says "I'm on my way to the freedom land.... I asked my brother...I asked my sister... I asked my mother... and then, "If they won't come, I'll go anyway". That is powerful stuff. The singer was calling for all nearby to abandon conventional wisdom and put ALL on a journey to a better place. And the singer was clearly stating that no matter what others decided, they were going. Freedom! The Freedom Land!!!!
I don't know anyone who is not moved by the message of Freedom. It's what I am searching to find. A place in the world to be me and to be free.
And so, I am back to the start of this blog. Is any part of your belief system impinging on another person's FREEDOM? Are you a Pagan afraid of Christians? Are you a Christian afraid of Muslims? Are you an atheist afraid of.... What is wrong with finding common ground? Let's sing! Let's find some songs we can sing together!! Let's find our way to the Freedom Land!!!!