Lifting Me

Life is full of challenges. We have good times. We have not so good times. What I tend to remember most is who was there. I remember who made the difference. I remember - even if you only lifted me for a brief period of time. And I remember you even if the tide turned and you no longer lifted me. Often I wonder why. And I wonder why I once lifted you, then I could not. Life is full of challenges. I remember how you made me feel - each step of the way. I am on the shorter side of life now. I may still wonder about the why's of life but I am more certain about the importance of lifting one another. It is, I believe, the one universal truth - our purpose is to lift one another. If we can learn to be driven by that one sole purpose in all we do, we will have served well. Every choice we make - every step we take - every thing we say - our purpose is to lift one another so that we all reach higher ground. I want to stand on that spiritual ground - that higher ground - where we lift all those around us. We challenge all around us to lift one another. I want to be surrounded by those seeking higher ground. I want to be surrounded by those who challenge me and lift me. Best of all - I am. You are!

The best we can do

I was very touched by a Roger Ebert quote this week.  To paraphrase:  He said that kindness was at the heart of his political beliefs and our purpose is to spread joy where we are able.  Making someone else unhappy is a crime and making ourselves unhappy is the beginning of crime.

I would change that to say that kindness is at the heart of my religious beliefs and our purpose is to spread joy.  Making someone else unhappy or making ourselves unhappy results in sin.  Jesus did not say "Go forth and spread the bad news - You sinners - you."  He did not say "If you see a splinter in someone's eye, go after it and make laws about it."

We should ask ourselves these questions before making decisions, "Is this based in kindness?"

"Will this result in making others or myself unhappy?"

We are all faced with complicated issues in our lives.  It's tough enough to figure out what we, ourselves should and should not do.  But if we focus on the splinters of others it just makes them and us very unhappy.

Walk softly.  Seek kindness and love.  Use your abilities to spread joy.  That's the best we can do.

The issue of Marriage Equality

Well, the Supreme Court arguments last week are now history and we wait for their decision.  I'm guessing they will punt on Prop 8 saying there was no standing and the case should not have been appealed once the State of California was no longer interested in defending it.  Those who pursued the defense had no legal standing to do so.  That will mean the last court ruling in which the State of California was defending Prop 8 will be the final decision.  If that is how they rule, the case will have little effect beyond California in the march toward equality.
I think they will make a decision concerning DOMA.  While the Attorney General was no longer defending it (the executive branch), the House of Representatives was so I don't think they can punt based on standing.  My guess is that DOMA will be ruled unconstitutional but I'm not sure if it will be the 14th amendment or that the Federal government overstepped states rights.  That will be the most interesting part.
The biggest argument against marriage equality was centered on the notion that procreation is the central purpose for marriage.  If the only benefits of marriage revolved around children, that could make some sense but most of the benefits of marriage have nothing to do with procreation at all.  In the DOMA case, one plaintiff was an 83 year old widow who was forced to pay over $360,000 to the IRS in order to keep the home she and her wife had shared for more than 40 years.  If she had been married to a man, she would not have needed to pay that - even if they had no children.  Procreation is not the central issue.
The inheritance tax issue is just one of 1100 benefits married couples enjoy - most having nothing to do with procreation.  This is an issue of fairness and equality.
Judge Scalia asked when it became unconstitutional to discriminate against gay people.  I would say as soon as the constitution was drafted.  It's simply taken this long for enough people to speak up and say so.  It's taken this long to overcome the fear of repercussions like loss of a job, and even loss of life.  When discrimination is prevailing and accepted, it takes great effort to overcome.  We've had to hear the real stories of real people who have been harmed by the effects of discrimination.  We've had to overcome the myths and lies that justified the discrimination.  And we have had to force the issue until it could be raised before the Supreme Court.
I marvel at the notion some claim, that marriage will be forever re-defined if equality is granted.  I cannot imagine any two fully committed people feeling any less committed by someone else's marriage.  But if they feel they need some clarification, let them say they are "Mormon married", "Johavah Witness married",  "Methodist married", "Catholic married" or "Bible Baptist married".  That should make a clear statement.  It won't mean they are any more or any less committed in marriage.  It also should not give them any more or any less Federal benefits.

Something in the Water...

The past several years have been rather amazing for LGBT people.  Just this year, public opinion shifted to favor marriage equality.  More states have enacted marriage equality legislation.  The military has eliminated its "Don't ask, don't tell policy".  DOMA will be argued before the Supreme Court.
It seems every month a well known celebrity is breaking silence and openly discussing their own same-sex relationships.  Jodi Foster, Suzi Orman, Anderson Cooper and many more are no longer afraid that their careers will be ruined if they are known.
Is it something in the water?  Has the secret "gay agenda" finally taken hold?
No, there's nothing in the water and if LGBT people have an agenda, it's simply to have the same rights afforded straight couples. 
"Every gay person must come out.... Once they realize we are indeed their children, we are indeed everywhere, every myth, every lie, every innuendo will be destroyed once and for all." -HARVEY MILK
It's long been believed that approximately 10% of the population is gay, lesbian, bi-sexual or transgender.  If you know 1000 people, 100 of them are likely gay or lesbian. Within your family, 1 in every 10 are likely LGBT.  If you did not know that, it's because no one talked about it.  We all bought into the myths, the lies and the innuendos and everyone remained silent.
Just as Harvey Milk predicted, as more LGBT people are breaking their silence, the myths, lies and innuendos are being destroyed.
It will be very hard for some people to shed those myths, and to stop believing the lies.  For some, these are deeply held beliefs intertwined in religious teachings.  These people will continue to believe the world is flat until and unless they walk around the world and don't fall off the edge.  It will be the next generation who make the greatest strides.
Meanwhile, put your seat belts on because the greater the push for change, the greater those resisting change will push back.  We're going to hear some interesting, and sometimes odd, discussion as we get closer to the Supreme Court ruling on DOMA.  Both sides have fought very hard and no one likes being on the loosing end of an argument.  No matter which way the ruling goes, there will be outrage.
It's important for everyone to understand that LGBT people are not going away and will never go away.  The majority of Americans now understand that LGBT people have lived under a cloud of myths and lies.  Those myths and lies cannot be re-applied.
If you're hanging onto those myths and lies, you may as well believe the world is flat. 

Would you?

Would you want the person you love beside your hospital bed in times of crisis?
If something happened to you, would you want your spouse to pay taxes in order to keep your shared property?
If you are married, consider all the financial details of your life - tax status, paying bills, bank accounts, health insurance, pensions - a simple marriage certificate affords you certain privileges that aren't questioned.
Would you want me - or anyone else - to decide whether or not you can share those privileges with the person you choose?
I was very slow to advocate gay marriage.  Through the years I developed a rather jaded view of the whole idea of marriage.  But as I've gotten older, I see many very practical reasons to fight for full equality for GLBT people - especially marriage.  It's time.
Most rational people are over the religious argument.  If you view it in the full context of the Bible, it doesn't hold water.  Not one person who argues for a literal interpretation actually follows all parts of the Bible literally.  The religious anti-gay position is purely based on long held bias and belief in exactly the same way that slavery and segregation were religiously based for many years.
It's time for religious communities to move to a position of love, compassion and understanding.  I'm happy that I am seeing that transition in my lifetime.
It takes a while to shed deeply ingrained beliefs.  It always has and it always will. We have to admit that we were wrong.  It's especially hard if you were certain that God was telling you one thing and now you have to admit that you didn't get the right message.  People of the church have always had a hard time with this.  It was heresy to say the world was not the center of the universe or that the world was not flat.
In the name of religious freedom, protected by our constitution, if you want to believe that homosexuality is a sin - that the world is the center of the universe - that the world is flat - you have a right to believe that.
I'm willing to bet you would not like the government making your religious choices for you.  Don't make other people's lives miserable by imposing your religious views on their financial and personal life decisions.
The world is not flat and your religious view is not the center of the universe.  It doesn't belong at the center of mine.

What's your emotional number?

What's your emotional number?  How low are your valleys?  How high are your peaks?
I've been called a flat liner.  I tend not to get too excited one way or the other.  Of course we all have peaks and valleys.  That's life.  There are meant to be cycles.
I'm thinking I'd like to chart my emotional life - find my emotional number - the general curve - the number that reflects my emotional number.  So, first I've had to come up with a numbering system - 1 to 10 - and what each means.  Next, I have to determine how often I note the number and how the day gets rated.  Every day has its own unique peaks and valley's.  Perhaps it's best to check the chart and see how many things or times may be noteworthy, then take the average.
So - first - here is the chart I think I'll use.

What should be our goal?  What is emotional wellness?  I don't know the answer.  I'm going to try tracking a bit and see where I believe I am on this chart.  Hopefully the average is high and the peaks and valleys are not so wide.

An even bigger question is - how can we help each other move up the chart?  It can't always be a 10 but let's hope we can keep above a 5 as an average.

The Project's purpose

People take a lot of approaches to things.  Some get the idea to build something and just dive in.  Others read and study the project, then start.  Others look for someone to show them how to do it.  Some look for someone else to do it.  Others just have the idea but never do anything about it all; except maybe talk about it.
I think life is one big project.  We should be building our lives the way we want them to be.  Some people just dive in and go with it.  Others look for instruction and guidance.  Some look for someone else to do it.  Others talk about living but don't quite seem to be going anywhere.
There are plenty of instruction manuals.  The challenge is that it's such a long project with so many variables that no one set of instructions covers everything.  I've yet to meet someone who isn't improvising.  The compass might be pointing a specific direction but everyone runs into a swamp or two along the way.
Maybe there aren't clear and concise instructions because the point of the project is to learn to improvise.