How we say things matters. Often I skip past headlines or social media posts that are incendiary even if I may agree with the underlying view. Name calling and personal attacks are not going to get us anywhere. It just divides us more and shuts down productive dialogue.
The types of policies, behavior and actions that cause me the most dismay, are ones that lack heart, cause suffering and, I believe, will have negative long term consequences. If that is where my values lie, I need to respond with heart, do no harm and consider the long term consequences. A great deal of strength, patience and careful consideration are required.
It's not unlike dealing with an unruly child. Labeling them, shouting angry words, or other attempts to whip them into submission are not going to be effective and may cause long term emotional harm and actually increase the undesirable behavior. We are best to focus on the behavior and facts. We need to help them understand a positive approach. That requires time, patience and emotional discipline on our part.
As we talk to one another - as we respond to headlines and social media posts - we need that same discipline. Focus on behavior and facts. Take time to frame an argument. The other person may still disagree but they will struggle to find you disagreeable. Know what you are talking about and be factual. Labels and angry words provide no context. If you are reacting emotionally, those with opposing views will as well. Then we are simply shouting slurs over a void.
Study the teachings of MLK and Ghandhi. They framed a very clear message and were very careful that the message was not lost in the delivery. A non-violent practice applies as much to our words as it does our actions. They were methodical and disciplined. They spoke truth.
We too must speak truth with a deep commitment to non-violence. It is a long and difficult path but it is the one that is spiritually healthy for us and the world around us.
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