A cat showed up....

What do you do when a cat shows up on the porch and won't go away?
Ok - got it - don't feed him.
Week two - he's still there.
Ok - give him some food and water. But ignore him.
Week three - he's still there.
Is it a he or a she? I think it's a she and I'm worried about more cats. Does anyone want a cat?
Week 4- late October in Pennsylvania - put a box and blanket on the porch.
"Go home cat. You are NOT coming in."
Oh - it's a boy - young boy. Whew! No kittens on the way.
Week 5 - snowy and cat is at door with snow on his back. Water froze overnight.
Ok - you can stay in the basement but someone must be looking for you. For now, you stay in the basement.
Week 6 - Tobey (the Sheltie) loves you and you love him. Ok - you can play upstairs a while and then go to the basement, Mr. Jeepers. By the way, Molly Mutt is annoyed. Tobey is HER buddy.
Week 7 - Ok if he's going to be an indoor cat, he MUST be fixed.
Week 8 - litter box and vet bills - Who wanted a cat?
Week 9 - Mouse 1, 2, 3, and 4 taken care of - Thank you Jeepers!
Week 10 - What kind of food do you like most Mr. Jeepers? Come and go as you like.
Week 11 - 5, 6, 7 mice gone. Hello MR. JEEPERS. So glad you and Molly are friends now.
Week 12 - Pose for pictures Mr. Jeepers. Are you happy? We sure are. Now tell us how you decided to choose this house?