Who are your heroes? What qualities do you admire? Who would you like to be more like? Who inspires you to be better?
Our chosen heroes tell a lot about us.
I think of the young mother of two who despite illness was a Brownie leader, community volunteer and delivered library books to shut ins. And the 5th grade teacher who saw and encouraged creativity that lead to the right career.
I think of well known heroes who worked tirelessly for healing, justice and equality - 2000 years ago, 200 years ago, 100 years ago and 50 years ago.
They were all clear in their purpose, their vision and their core values.
When my spirit is shaken, I am reminded to refocus on purpose, vision and values. I think of the people I have most admired. What would they be telling me? What ARE they telling me?
Refocus on purpose, vision and values.
I'm very protective and determined about purpose. I've learned we need to be very careful what we drink with our eyes, our ears and our spirit. I won't watch movies that are violent for violence sake. I won't watch movies focused on cruelty. I seek reliable sources for news and information and avoid sensationalized stories whether told by the left or the right. Healing, justice and equality are my favorite subjects and in that order of importance.
I can't imagine any one's mission statement or statement of purpose being "To be as sarcastic, condescending, judgmental and divisive as I can be on a daily basis." Oddly that seems to gain talk show hosts an audience and that is how they succeed. But then, what is the vision? What is the expected outcome in being successful in their mission? I guess for a talk show host, the answer is that they can make a lot of money.
Would anyone choose this as a personal mission? "To be as sarcastic, condescending, judgmental and divisive as I can be on a daily basis." What is the expected outcome - the vision of success? What core values do you need to have to drive such a mission and vision. Who are your heroes? Do they poison or do they heal?
Wednesday, July 24, 2013
Monday, July 22, 2013
It's about empathy
My last blog post is one of the most viewed blogs I've written so far, even though I added no labels that would typically bring more viewers. Not quite sure why, but because it was, I feel I need to follow up with some thoughts that may be informative.
When I see a bumper sticker that says "Marriage = one man, one woman", it might as have a subtitle that says "And you gay people cannot have what I have." I can actually picture the person in my face saying, "Don't you even think for one minute you are equal to me."
I see that because of years of attitude directed at me. Even someone I have known all my life, as I expressed empathy at her painful divorce, said I could not possibly understand her pain because hers was a marriage.
What if the bumper sticker said "Marriage = one white man and one white woman" or "Marriage = one black man and one black woman". Or "Marriage = one protestant man and one protestant woman". The underlying message of those words would infuriate some people.
It is the underlying message that hurts.
As my friend Janet kindly commented on the last post, it's about common sense. It's about empathy.
When I see a bumper sticker that says "Marriage = one man, one woman", it might as have a subtitle that says "And you gay people cannot have what I have." I can actually picture the person in my face saying, "Don't you even think for one minute you are equal to me."
I see that because of years of attitude directed at me. Even someone I have known all my life, as I expressed empathy at her painful divorce, said I could not possibly understand her pain because hers was a marriage.
What if the bumper sticker said "Marriage = one white man and one white woman" or "Marriage = one black man and one black woman". Or "Marriage = one protestant man and one protestant woman". The underlying message of those words would infuriate some people.
It is the underlying message that hurts.
As my friend Janet kindly commented on the last post, it's about common sense. It's about empathy.
Wednesday, July 17, 2013
Snap out of it!
Sometimes people have heard and repeated something so long, they don't think about what they are saying. It's one of those derived beliefs that is so ingrained in their DNA that it escapes reason.
A few weeks ago on one of the morning shows a right wing politician suddenly burst into a defensive
"I am not a bigot" statement when questioned about his anti-gay positions. Oddly, no one had called him a bigot on the show but it must have been a word following him around.
As they explain it, it's not that they are anti-gay, it's simply that gay relationships are not equal to straight relationships and should not be treated as such. But that is not anti gay, it's just the way things are supposed to be. "We love you. Just don't expect the same things we straight people have."
It boils down to to a desire to regulate sex. It's ok to be be gay if you remain celibate and do not expect the same rights and privileges in selecting a life partner as straight people have. In other words, it's ok to be gay as long as you accept a self imposed solitary confinement as a life sentence. Or, better yet, just marry someone of the opposite sex. It's just about sex right?
It's not personal. It's just what gay people need to do - apparently for their own good. On top of that, it's God dictating this so it is unquestionable.
I DO question that God has dictated such a thing. Don't try to tell me the Bible has specified this. The Bible is full of conflicting information. If the only place you are looking for answers from God is the Bible, your God is awfully tiny to contain all in one little book. You have to read more than that to be considered an expert in Physics. If you believe you are an expert on God because you read the Bible, don't bother me with your dictum. God gave you a brain. Use it.
Yes, I take this issue quite personally. Telling me that my relationships are not equal to yours insults me. Telling me that God does not see me as a wholly functioning person deserving of the same rights and privileges afforded straight couples insults me.
If you and the organizations you support work to deny me equality in the United States, in Pennsylvania and in Venango County - you are ANTI. You are against me. You are working to deny my happiness. You are working to deny my freedom NOT to practice your religious beliefs.
The crazy part to me is that my having equal rights has NO impact on straight people. They will continue to have all the rights and privileges they have always had. This anti-gay position HAS had an impact on me for far too many years.
Don't tell me you love me and then tell me I cannot expect happiness with the person I choose. That is outrageous. I am increasingly outraged each time I hear it. It is cruel and insulting.
I feel so sorry for young people, who like me many years ago, internalize and accept this cruelty for their lives. Everyone deserves a chance at happiness. It's time for our churches and government to wake up. Snap out of it. It's not healthy to subjugate people and impose odd standards that create hardship. Snap out of it!
A few weeks ago on one of the morning shows a right wing politician suddenly burst into a defensive
"I am not a bigot" statement when questioned about his anti-gay positions. Oddly, no one had called him a bigot on the show but it must have been a word following him around.
As they explain it, it's not that they are anti-gay, it's simply that gay relationships are not equal to straight relationships and should not be treated as such. But that is not anti gay, it's just the way things are supposed to be. "We love you. Just don't expect the same things we straight people have."
It boils down to to a desire to regulate sex. It's ok to be be gay if you remain celibate and do not expect the same rights and privileges in selecting a life partner as straight people have. In other words, it's ok to be gay as long as you accept a self imposed solitary confinement as a life sentence. Or, better yet, just marry someone of the opposite sex. It's just about sex right?
It's not personal. It's just what gay people need to do - apparently for their own good. On top of that, it's God dictating this so it is unquestionable.
I DO question that God has dictated such a thing. Don't try to tell me the Bible has specified this. The Bible is full of conflicting information. If the only place you are looking for answers from God is the Bible, your God is awfully tiny to contain all in one little book. You have to read more than that to be considered an expert in Physics. If you believe you are an expert on God because you read the Bible, don't bother me with your dictum. God gave you a brain. Use it.
Yes, I take this issue quite personally. Telling me that my relationships are not equal to yours insults me. Telling me that God does not see me as a wholly functioning person deserving of the same rights and privileges afforded straight couples insults me.
If you and the organizations you support work to deny me equality in the United States, in Pennsylvania and in Venango County - you are ANTI. You are against me. You are working to deny my happiness. You are working to deny my freedom NOT to practice your religious beliefs.
The crazy part to me is that my having equal rights has NO impact on straight people. They will continue to have all the rights and privileges they have always had. This anti-gay position HAS had an impact on me for far too many years.
Don't tell me you love me and then tell me I cannot expect happiness with the person I choose. That is outrageous. I am increasingly outraged each time I hear it. It is cruel and insulting.
I feel so sorry for young people, who like me many years ago, internalize and accept this cruelty for their lives. Everyone deserves a chance at happiness. It's time for our churches and government to wake up. Snap out of it. It's not healthy to subjugate people and impose odd standards that create hardship. Snap out of it!
Wednesday, July 3, 2013
A message to the better you!
On a number of occasions I have felt the call to write to one reader. To say - if you are seeking an answer to your question here - you already know the answer. Your instincts are correct. Trust yourself.
Long ago a friend told me 'If someone asks you a personal question, they probably already know the answer.' I believe she was right.
Next I would tell you as I did a few young people recently 'We always have choices. We may not like them. But we always have choices'.
Often we feel trapped. Sometimes ashamed that we believed in something that we should not have believed in. That is the course of life. Good people - optimistic people - are deceived. It has happened to many good people.
I can testify that even better people stand on the other side. Be true to yourself. Be true to your values. If you hang onto to those, there will be sweet answers to your challenges. A year from now you will be amazed. Don't stay in a swamp. You deserve better!
Long ago a friend told me 'If someone asks you a personal question, they probably already know the answer.' I believe she was right.
Next I would tell you as I did a few young people recently 'We always have choices. We may not like them. But we always have choices'.
Often we feel trapped. Sometimes ashamed that we believed in something that we should not have believed in. That is the course of life. Good people - optimistic people - are deceived. It has happened to many good people.
I can testify that even better people stand on the other side. Be true to yourself. Be true to your values. If you hang onto to those, there will be sweet answers to your challenges. A year from now you will be amazed. Don't stay in a swamp. You deserve better!
Sunday, June 30, 2013
Love is patient
Back in March, I wrote about Marriage Equality and made some guesses about how the Supreme Court would rule on DOMA and Prop 8. (March 29 - "The issue of Marriage Equality". I wasn't far off about the ruling but I am surprised we are not seeing as much immediate right wing backlash as I was expecting.
Maybe it's because the court ruling did not go so far as to say that same sex marriage was a constitutional right. They ruled on the side of states rights and that the Federal Government cannot discriminate when someone is legally married.
There will be many more court battles ahead. One that I have not heard discussed is if one state has the right to say someone married in another state is not recognized. The next is if someone is married in one state but the state they are living does not recognize their marriage, does the federal government recognize the marriage? Do they file joint taxes? Do they pay inheritance taxes? Are they eligible for the many Social Security benefits offered married couples? Does their employer have to recognize them as married for insurance purposes?
Those against marriage equality will double down on the states. They will continue to work to overturn marriage equality in states that now have it and they will continue to to try to have more laws passed in the states that don't to triple ensure they will not pass marriage equality legislation.
A lot of attorneys on both sides of this issue are going to make a lot money. A lot of legislative time will be spent in states and in the US Congress arguing both sides of this issue. Many churches are going to continue to be torn and focused on this issue.
In the end, people are going to love who they are going to love. No amount of fear mongering, Bible banging, legislation or other forms of retaliation are going to change that.
For centuries the world tried to turn left handed people into right handed people. It was not acceptable and certainly wasn't considered something that people were born to be. Now science is proving that being gay is as natural to some as not being gay. But once a whole lot of rhetoric has been built around a notion, it's a long time changing.
The reason will be ultimately decided in the courts, is that courts are somewhat more geared toward logic and reason. But even Judges have their own fears to overcome. So, hang onto your hats folks. It's going to be a long and interesting ride before we see marriage equality. But it will come. It will come because love always wins over fear. Love is patient.
Maybe it's because the court ruling did not go so far as to say that same sex marriage was a constitutional right. They ruled on the side of states rights and that the Federal Government cannot discriminate when someone is legally married.
There will be many more court battles ahead. One that I have not heard discussed is if one state has the right to say someone married in another state is not recognized. The next is if someone is married in one state but the state they are living does not recognize their marriage, does the federal government recognize the marriage? Do they file joint taxes? Do they pay inheritance taxes? Are they eligible for the many Social Security benefits offered married couples? Does their employer have to recognize them as married for insurance purposes?
Those against marriage equality will double down on the states. They will continue to work to overturn marriage equality in states that now have it and they will continue to to try to have more laws passed in the states that don't to triple ensure they will not pass marriage equality legislation.
A lot of attorneys on both sides of this issue are going to make a lot money. A lot of legislative time will be spent in states and in the US Congress arguing both sides of this issue. Many churches are going to continue to be torn and focused on this issue.
In the end, people are going to love who they are going to love. No amount of fear mongering, Bible banging, legislation or other forms of retaliation are going to change that.
For centuries the world tried to turn left handed people into right handed people. It was not acceptable and certainly wasn't considered something that people were born to be. Now science is proving that being gay is as natural to some as not being gay. But once a whole lot of rhetoric has been built around a notion, it's a long time changing.
The reason will be ultimately decided in the courts, is that courts are somewhat more geared toward logic and reason. But even Judges have their own fears to overcome. So, hang onto your hats folks. It's going to be a long and interesting ride before we see marriage equality. But it will come. It will come because love always wins over fear. Love is patient.
Wednesday, June 19, 2013
Our awesome connection
Often I am touched with a powerful sense of awe. It's an overwhelming feeling of humility and at the same time a great connectedness to that greater force. It can happen when I'm singing and hear another sweet voice harmonizing with me. It can happen when I stare at the stars on a perfect summer night. It can happen when I see Molly Mutt Paws cock her head as I tell her some odd thing. I feel it when suddenly words and music dance in my head that I must write down. I just know that my spirit has been connected to something more. I feel small and large at the same time.
When I travel to foreign countries, I marvel. I see ancient things and wonder. Why was I born now? Why was I born in Franklin Pennsylvania? Time and space are so large. We are so small. Our life on earth is so short. And yet, I am a part of all that ever was and all that ever will be. I am a tiny speck in the universe but I am part it.
Everything we do leaves an impression that carries on somehow. Everything - every thought - every deed - every word.
We are part of one giant continuum. It does not matter what you call that. You may call it God or nature or Woooogaaa if you like.
It is the alpha and the omega - The omnipotent, omnipresent. It is part of everyone and everything that ever was and ever will be. It is the simple, universal and undeniable truth.
Everything we say - everything we do - everything we think creates something in the universe that carries on somehow. We may never know how - good or bad.
I believe that understanding needs to be at the core of everyone's personal spiritual journey.
For me it is very humbling and comes with a feeling of great awe and great responsibility.
We are at the same time a tiny speck and part of something endless.
When I travel to foreign countries, I marvel. I see ancient things and wonder. Why was I born now? Why was I born in Franklin Pennsylvania? Time and space are so large. We are so small. Our life on earth is so short. And yet, I am a part of all that ever was and all that ever will be. I am a tiny speck in the universe but I am part it.
Everything we do leaves an impression that carries on somehow. Everything - every thought - every deed - every word.
We are part of one giant continuum. It does not matter what you call that. You may call it God or nature or Woooogaaa if you like.
It is the alpha and the omega - The omnipotent, omnipresent. It is part of everyone and everything that ever was and ever will be. It is the simple, universal and undeniable truth.
Everything we say - everything we do - everything we think creates something in the universe that carries on somehow. We may never know how - good or bad.
I believe that understanding needs to be at the core of everyone's personal spiritual journey.
For me it is very humbling and comes with a feeling of great awe and great responsibility.
We are at the same time a tiny speck and part of something endless.
Sunday, June 2, 2013
Learning about Chinese Philosophy
 |
| http://www.chinatravel.com/qingdao-attraction/laoshan-mountain/ |
 |
| http://www.chinatravel.com/wuxi-attraction/lingshan-grand-buddha/ |
While sitting at the foot of the Grand Buddha with my host group, Mr. Peng asked our interpreter, Jacey to explain Buddhism to me in a few short sentences. As she told me his request, she expressed that she wasn't sure she could. I said, "Let me try to tell you what I believe Buddism is about. Buddhists believe in respect for all things and all people. They believe that it is each individuals responsibility to find their path in life and that we should always be seeking to be better in all we do." As Jacey relayed, the group nodded and smiled. Mr. Feng, my local host, said, "You understand Buddhism well." Later that evening over dinner we all had a wonderful discussion about eastern philosophy.
Their written language is steeped in philosophy. It's fascinated me for many years. For example, the Chinese word for crisis is two symbols. Apart the symbols have their own meaning - danger and opportunity. Together, they mean crisis. It's the idea of yin and yang - that two seemingly opposite things are interconnected. It is deeply rooted in Taoist teachings.
In western philosophy, teachings and religion we tend to think black and white, good and bad, right or wrong. Meanwhile, the eastern thought will seek greater context and is not so quick to pass harsh judgement. As in the example above, a crisis is not necessarily bad - there is an opportunity if you seek it. Our job is to seek and learn.
During my time in China, I saw that, just as in the US, not all follow and take these philosophies to heart. But I spent a great deal of time with people who really do. I saw it in their actions and felt it in their spirit. They were humble, kind and gentle always watching for an opportunity to be the best at whatever they were doing at the moment. I saw it in how they were treating the people around them, how they were treating me and how they were approaching their work.
One day Mr. Peng said, "Our Buddha taught much the same as your Jesus Christ." It is true. And as I have thought of Christians I most respect I can say the same of them as I say about my new Chinese friends. They are humble, kind and gentle - always watching for an opportunity to be the best at whatever they are doing at the moment. The biggest difference I see between the two religious philosophies is that Buddhism is centered on self actualization. Buddha won't save you. He teaches you how to reach God. You must learn it. It's inwardly focused and works outward. Christianity is outwardly focused. We are powerless to find God and must be saved. No matter how we act or behave, it's the salvation that is the key. Overcoming the external force of sin is only accomplished by submission. There also tends to be a focus on pointing out and combating other people's sins - many seeing that as their responsibility as Christians.
As my hosts asked my thoughts on philosophy, I told them I am not a typical Christian or a typical American. I wasn't sure they understood. So I said "I think I was Buddhist in a past life and was born into a Christian family so I could try to understand Christians." That - they understood and it brought much laughter.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)