Wednesday, November 30, 2016

Let the means justify the end...

One of the oddest things about we humans is that if someone asks for equality - equal access, equal time, equal say - we take it as an intrusion into our equality, access, time and say. If someone pushes us, we push back. We are really bad at trying to walk in the other person's shoes. We seek hierarchy. We measure ourselves against what other people have, how hard they do or don't work, what we believe they have accomplished more or less compared to us.
It's the "rights" fault. It's the "lefts" fault. It's her fault or his fault. She isn't contributing enough. He doesn't deserve... Blah, Blah, Blah. In the end, the only thing that is going to matter is whether or not you did the best you could with the situations that faced you. Once we blame others, hate others, for the struggles we encounter, we are lost in a trapped world. And much of the world is trapped. It's not a "left" problem or a "right" problem. It's a human problem.
We need to spend less time trying to shut one another up and more time trying to understand one another. People who feel misunderstood and marginalized will express themselves in un-healthy ways over time. If you are the one feeling misunderstood or marginalized, you need to find healthy ways to express yourself. If we want others to care about us, we have to care about them. Otherwise, life remains a tug of war. You pull one end of the rope, I pull the other. You push me, I push you back. It goes on and on and on. The pendulum swings one way, then back.
The only way it changes is for forces to pull upward together. The end does not justify the means. The means justifies the end. Pulling someone up beside you doesn't pull you down. It gives you an ally in the effort to pull up the next person. The amount of effort required to pull one another up grows much lighter than all the energy expended to pull against or push against one another.
Choose a means that justifies the end. Be clear about the desired end result. If it requires throwing people over the cliff, be ready for the next group to be working to throw you over the cliff.

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